Is It Worth It?

In business, talk about “return on investment” is a way of determining whether or not an investment is “worth it.” If you take account of what you put into your business — resources like time and money — ROI is the ratio of net profit over the total cost of your investment.

Regrettably, it’s a little harder to apply a formula like that to life! Sometimes, when you’re trying to decide whether or not something is “worth it,” it’s really not about value in dollars. It’s about how much emotional currency you’re willing to spend in order to try and resolve a problem or confront a difficult client or colleague.

We ask ourselves all the time in daily life, “Is it worth it?” For example, the other evening I was out for dinner. I ordered one item on the menu, but ended up with something very different. I pointed out the mistake to the waiter, but she wasn’t very helpful. Because the occasion was a family birthday celebration, I didn’t want to make a fuss. Later that evening, I called the restaurant to discuss the issue. To my surprise, the manager, instead of having a reasonable conversation with me, just got angry and yelled at me. I found myself getting angry too. Nothing was achieved. When I hung up the phone I had to ask, “Was that worth it?” The answer was “No!”

Here's what I recommend when situations as this occur. Recognize that, while there are, of course, times when conflict is unavoidable, think twice before jumping in. Consider asking yourself the following questions first, in order to determine if something is “worth it.”  

1. What do I hope to achieve?

Don’t let anger or ego drive your actions. Think it through and don’t rush to address an issue. Instead, blow off steam on your own. Then, if you decide the end goal really is important to you (for example, getting a restaurant to reimburse you for an overcharge), pursue the matter. If not, let it go.

2. Is what I’m feeling fair?

It’s easy to jump to conclusions. Take a deep breath and a closer look. Possibly you need to walk back from those conclusions and be more honest about your role in any potential conflict.

3. Can I express myself constructively?

The words you choose can be either positive or negative. To be constructive you have to frame what you want to say or write, in a positive way. Will you really feel better if you express yourself with negativity and obvious anger? Focus on the solution rather than the problem. Be diplomatic.

4. Can I be compassionate?

As the Dalai Lama says, “love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.” Try and understand the other person’s point of view. If things end badly try to forgive the person. After all, you don’t know what’s going on in their life. Similarly, try to look for the good in the situation rather than focussing on what went wrong.

We live in complicated times where people are on edge and are easily offended. The past few years of a global pandemic has meant there is more conflict in all areas of life, some of it petty. So, rather than add to stress and tension — and end up more stressed yourself — take a step back and ask yourself, “Is it worth it?” Don’t spend your emotional currency foolishly — save it for something that truly does matter.

Schedule a 30 minute complimentary phone or video meeting to meet Dr. Sandra Folk. She’ll be happy to talk to you about your business communications challenges.

It All Starts With Curiosity: How To Ask The Right Questions

Anyone who spends time with children knows they love to ask questions. “Why is there a moon?” “How come ladybugs have spots?” “Can I eat ice cream every night?” Harvard-based child psychologist Paul Harris says a child asks something like 40,000 questions between the ages of two and five. Yikes, that’s a whole lot of questions!

But what kids are doing is what adults need to do too — they’re being curious. Children ask questions because they want to learn about the world. In business, in order to respond to the needs of your clients and colleagues, you need to be curious too. Asking questions is how you gain information and understanding. 

But a bad question won’t get you far. Poorly constructed questions are generally confusing. They lead to unproductive communication. As well, confusing or pointless questions reflect poorly on the asker. So, you need to know how to ask good questions. Here are some important  principles to keep in mind when asking questions:

1. Clarity

Questions should be easy to understand and use straightforward language. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes — what kind of question is likely to get a response? Your questions need to be relevant to the person.

2. Simplicity

Ask one question at a time. A “double-barrelled” question, where you ask two questions at the same time, likely means only one of them will be answered.

3. Purpose

Think through your questions in advance. You should have a mental road map, knowing where it is you hope your questions will lead.

4. Fearlessness

Don’t be afraid to ask challenging questions. Being direct is better than dancing around a question. Be diplomatic and considerate, but don’t let sensitive subject matter stop you from asking your question.

5. Openness

An open-ended question is the best starting point. In other words, avoid questions that can easily be answered “yes” or “no.” Yes or no answers are conversation stoppers! Part of what makes a good question is that it helps advance the conversation.

6. Specificity

As your conversation proceeds make your questions more specific in order to get more detailed information. Use words like “why” and “how” and “could you describe that” to go more in depth.

Remember, asking good questions means that you and the person you are speaking with will benefit. Sometimes, answering questions helps a person to think more carefully and clarify their own thoughts. Added bonus? Your good questions may lead to solving problems, creating empathy and encouraging a creative working relationship.

Finally, just in case you’re curious, here’s a little “Q&A.”

• “What does the moon do?” It controls daily tides, stabilizes our planet’s rotation, and is responsible for Earth’s climate.

• “How come ladybugs have spots?” To help them hide from predators.

• “Can I eat ice cream every night?” No.

Schedule a 30 minute complimentary phone or video meeting to meet Dr. Sandra Folk. She’ll be happy to talk to you about your business communications challenges.

Get The Picture: Why Visuals in Business Communication

Whether it’s a strong company logo or a smart power point presentation, visuals are crucial for enhancing and making your business communication appealing.  Just as a well-designed visual will positively impact your message, poor visuals will have a negative impact. Bluntly stated,  poor visuals are downright  annoying, as I recently learned! It’s the reason you need to avoid the following situations:

Ghostly Virtual Backgrounds

Virtual backgrounds in Zoom meetings are visually appealing when they work well, technically. They are even more effective if the other person on your screen has a boring, blank wall for a background. However, when your virtual background has technical issues — mainly a weird, ghost-like, jumpy effect surrounding your hands, head, or shoulders every times you move them, it’s downright annoying! If you don’t have the technical know-how to correctly set up a virtual background, I urge you: please do not use one!

Recently, I had a series of meetings with a person whose virtual background was so wonky, it actually gave me a headache. Yet, when I explained the problem to him, he actually did nothing to fix it. It made me wonder. Why wouldn’t he fix it after the first meeting.  Why wouldn’t he go online for support (from Zoom or via YouTube videos)? There was no way that I would ever do business with this person or anyone else who allowed this to happen.  His attitude didn’t say much about his overall approach to doing business.

Telling Not Showing

There’s a reason novelists and screenwriters say, “show don’t tell.” A barrage of information can make an audience’s eyes glaze over. On the other hand, effective visual communication will draw in and engage a person.  In business,  a well-designed power point slide deck offers a great way to captivate a prospective client’s interest — as long as the visuals are compelling, and the written components are minimal.

A powerful video can really help a prospective client better envision a desired outcome. And a well-designed infographic can bring statistics to life for someone who might otherwise not easily grasp the data.

Creating Un-shareable Content

Imagery helps us remember information. And, in today’s fast-paced business environment where people have limited time (and attention spans!), a strong visual can be memorable. Since the dawn of social media, shareable content has grown in importance. Some estimates suggest that visual content is 40 times more likely to be shared than content with text alone. So, don’t create un-shareable content.

In the end, it all comes back to the following strong message. Before you go to the trouble and expense of creating visual content, remember: a picture is only worth a thousand words if the story, i.e., the words, behind the picture make sense in the first place!

Schedule a 30 minute complimentary phone or video meeting to meet Dr. Sandra Folk. She’ll be happy to talk to you about your business communications challenges.

You’re Not a Good Fit: What Does It Mean?

What exactly does it mean if someone tells you you’re not a good fit — that you can’t get through the office door? It’s one of those phrases that immediately says…nothing. I think people use expressions like “not a good fit,” or “we’re moving in a different direction” because they don’t want to tell you the truth. Or, because they’re lazy. They don’t want to take the time to be specific. Either way, vague jargon like “we’re not a good fit” isn’t clear communication.

Not long ago I was looking over a business proposal from someone hoping to work with me. I felt his quote was high, and that some aspects of the proposal were unclear. Naturally, given that communication is my business, I asked for clarification. But instead of expanding on the proposal or its cost, he simply sent me that deadly one-sentence response: “We’re not a good fit.”

We’re Not A Good Fit!

I admit it, I rolled my eyes. What did he mean? I could only speculate. Did he feel I was asking too many questions? Had he invested as much time in the proposal as he was willing to spend explaining it? Was it something I said? I’ll never know! All I know for sure is that it felt a bit like being fired before we even started working together.

Right Person Wrong Job

So, what might you do if someone tells you they don’t think you’re a good fit? It depends. If you want to know the truth: Ask. Explain to the person that it may be helpful to know the specifics regarding why you aren’t a “good fit.” It might be for a job, for a company, for a doorway — whatever the case may be. The answer might surprise you. It could be a case of “right person, wrong job.”

On the other hand, if you sense your talents and abilities are not being recognized, maybe you don’t want to work with those folks either. In that case, just smile and say, “Yes, I agree, we’re not a good fit.” But if you’re an employee who is literally being fired for “not being a good fit” for a company’s culture, that’s another matter. That’s when you need to consult local employment law.

Company Culture

Come to think of it, “company culture” is in itself a vague term. Does it mean everyone must share the same work ethic and company values? Is it about wanting to have drinks on Friday afternoon with your co-workers? Does it mean knowing to laugh at the boss’s jokes even if they aren’t funny? Or is it just code for some kind of discrimination.

Is It Passive Aggressive?

As the Urban Dictionary aptly defines it, “not a good fit” is a “passive aggressive understatement used when rejecting a job candidate, firing a worker, or breaking up with a spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend.” So, I suggest we consider retiring the expression  — unless we’re talking about a pair of pants that are too tight!

Schedule a 30 minute complimentary phone or video meeting to meet Dr. Sandra Folk. She’ll be happy to talk to you about your business communications challenges.

So You’ve Been Promoted: How to Build Your English Language Confidence

You know your stuff. You’re intelligent and knowledgeable, which is why you’ve been promoted. But even though you’re a business professional, English is not your first language. Sometimes that holds you back. When you conduct meetings not everyone always understands you.

It’s not a question of the right words or correct expressions, and you’re comfortable with English grammar. But sometimes you start to worry that your words won’t come out right. There’s a little voice inside your head asking, “Will I sound foolish?” So, instead of speaking confidently, you lower your voice and speak in a monotone. You skim over the words so quickly that most people can barely hear you, let alone understand you.

Sounds familiar? Rest assured you’re not alone. We all have moments of anxiety when we’re trying to express ourselves, whether it’s in a meeting or during a presentation. But if you’re a non-native English speaker the challenges are even greater. So, first of all, give yourself a break! And secondly, take steps to boost your confidence, speak with more authority, and increase your presence as a leader.

Here are a few techniques I use with my clients, both native English speakers and not, since anyone can benefit from the following:

1. Practice…And Open Wide

Practice does not make “perfect.” But it will help you to improve. The more you practice speaking English each day, the less anxious you’ll feel about expressing yourself. Practice pronunciation and enunciation. Speaking clearly means you have to open your mouth wide!

2. Take Your Time…And Breathe

Don’t rush. Give yourself a chance to find the right words. Otherwise you may start speaking too quickly, which will make you even more nervous. If you’re nervous you’re more likely to mix up what you want to say, and how you want to say it. Breathe! Breathing helps us collect our thoughts. Plus, taking time shows thoughtfulness, which is a valued leadership quality.

3. Be Afraid…And Do It Anyway

Fear is natural and understandable. But you can’t let butterflies in your stomach get the better of you. Believe you can speak clearly and confidently and make yourself try to do exactly that. You’d be surprised at how much better you’ll feel if you try to create new, better habits instead of slipping into old, bad ones.

4. Get Help…Call A Coach

Bill McCartney, a famed American football coach, once said “All coaching is, is taking a player where he can’t take himself.” Mr. McCartney was right. You can’t always get where you want to go on your own. If you’d like to learn more about how a good coach can help you, have a look at Five Ways A Good Coach Can Improve Your Business Communication.

Schedule a 30 minute complimentary phone or video meeting to meet Dr. Sandra Folk. She’ll be happy to talk to you about your business communications challenges.